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- 10/03/15--21:01: _21 Things You'll On...
- 10/19/15--08:46: _11 Slightly Horrify...
- 10/24/15--13:08: _9 Demon Dogs That W...
- 10/24/15--16:38: _What Happens When Y...
- 10/27/15--18:16: _21 Tweets About Hav...
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- 12/26/15--12:54: _17 People Who Prove...
- 01/23/16--05:46: _15 Things Your Dent...
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- 11/19/15--03:15: _Can You Tell The Di...
- 03/02/16--13:01: _21 Photos That Are ...
- 03/31/16--16:05: _8 Struggles Lipstic...
- 06/28/16--11:16: _These Popular DIY H...
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- 07/29/16--10:01: _21 Things Everyone ...
- 10/08/16--13:37: _How Normal Are Your...
- 10/19/16--17:24: _Government Misleadi...
- 11/02/16--08:16: _This Is Actually Th...
- 11/03/16--12:55: _Can Your Gross Habi...
- 12/04/16--06:01: _If You Get 15/20 On...
- 02/04/17--15:31: _12 Traumatic Moment...
- 03/14/17--08:31: _Do You Brush Your T...
- 03/18/17--07:01: _13 "Would You Rathe...
- 03/28/17--07:47: _23 Of The Best Teet...
- 05/16/17--14:01: _Do I Have Something...
- 07/12/17--08:19: _This Guy Hasn't Bru...
- 08/22/17--14:01: _People See How Gros...
- 10/01/17--07:15: _Brushing Your Teeth...
- 11/29/17--15:14: _19 Photos That Prov...
- 12/19/17--05:12: _16 Outrageous Facts...
- 01/08/18--05:15: _Snails Have Teeth B...
- 01/11/18--11:01: _I Got Real Vampire ...
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- 05/18/18--08:50: _ネイルアートはもっと自由であるべきだ！...
- 06/02/18--23:31: _18 Photos That Only...
- 06/03/18--23:11: _Go Shopping At Typo...
- 07/04/18--05:07: _Can You Recognise T...
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- 10/03/15--21:01: 21 Things You'll Only Understand If You Had Braces
- 10/19/15--08:46: 11 Slightly Horrifying Facts That Will Stop You Biting Your Nails
- 10/24/15--13:08: 9 Demon Dogs That Want To Haunt Your Dreams And Eat Your Soul
- 10/24/15--16:38: What Happens When You Put Teeth In Soda
- 10/27/15--18:16: 21 Tweets About Having Braces That Are Way Too Real
- 11/02/15--19:31: 27 Emotions Every Actor Should Know
- 11/23/15--13:30: 8 Slightly Gross Facts That Will Make You Very Aware Of Your Mouth
- 12/26/15--12:54: 17 People Who Prove Gap-Tooth Smiles Are Totally Contagious
- 01/23/16--05:46: 15 Things Your Dentist Actually Wants You To Know
- 01/24/16--20:15: 11 Gross Facts About Your Teeth
- 03/02/16--13:01: 21 Photos That Are Too Real For Anyone Who Wore Braces
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- 10/08/16--13:37: How Normal Are Your Dental Hygiene Habits?
- 11/02/16--08:16: This Is Actually The Most Divisive Teeth Brushing Poll Ever
- 11/03/16--12:55: Can Your Gross Habits Actually Be Good For Your Well-Being?
- 12/04/16--06:01: If You Get 15/20 On This Quiz, You Must Be A Dental Student
- 03/14/17--08:31: Do You Brush Your Teeth Like Everyone Else?
- 03/18/17--07:01: 13 "Would You Rather" Questions That Will Make You Feel Dirty
- 03/28/17--07:47: 23 Of The Best Teeth Whiteners You Can Get On Amazon
- 05/16/17--14:01: Do I Have Something In My Teeth? - Social Experiment
- 08/22/17--14:01: People See How Gross Their Teeth Really Are
- 11/29/17--15:14: 19 Photos That Prove The Top End Is Basically Jurassic Park IRL
- 01/08/18--05:15: Snails Have Teeth Because The World Is Just One Big Acid Trip
- 01/11/18--11:01: I Got Real Vampire Fangs And They Look Fucking Badass
- 04/13/18--03:42: Here Are Some Things That Your Dreams Could Actually Mean
- 05/18/18--08:50: ネイルアートはもっと自由であるべきだ！と思わせるデザインを紹介します
- 06/02/18--23:31: 18 Photos That Only People Who Had Braces Will Understand
- 06/03/18--23:11: Go Shopping At Typo And We'll Guess Your Current Toothpaste Brand
- 07/04/18--05:07: Can You Recognise These Celebrities By Just One Body Part?
- 06/02/17--12:17: Do I Have To Choose Between A Good Life And Good Teeth?
- 05/10/18--16:36: This Fish That Has Human Teeth Is Real And It Will Haunt My Dreams
- 09/06/18--14:01: 19 Models Who Proved Gap Teeth Are A Beauty Mark
- 10/04/18--18:23: 18 Horror Movies You Can Watch On Netflix Right Now
- 10/30/18--06:25: 19 Tweets About The Dentist That Have No Right To Be This Funny
Let’s be honest, orthodontists live to cause children pain.
First of all, you weren't too thrilled with the idea of your mouth being laced with wire and metal.
Choosing which color to put on your braces always felt like you were choosing the next Spring fashion trend.
You felt like you were in a horror movie when the orthodontist lazily trimmed your wires and you were left with a bloody mouth.
You had so many cuts throughout your mouth from those metal brackets of death.
Your mouth basically looked like a war-zone.
New World Pictures
Unless you love sucking up 10 million germs a day, ofc.
There are all kinds of deeply wretched germs crawling under your fingernails.
Fingertips are hives of nastiness, and are home to various types of bacteria, fungus, and YEAST (eww). One particularly prevalent germ found under nails is Staphlococcus aureus, which can cause a load of crazy skin infections like boils and abscesses. Mmmm, oral boils.
Bravo / beamlyus.tumblr.com
When you suck and chew on your fingernails, they become an even greater bacterial paradise.
Back in 2007, Turkish scientists tested 59 people to see whether nail biting had any real effect on transporting bacteria to the mouth. They swabbed each person’s mouth for saliva to check for diarrhoea and vomiting bacteria such as Escherichia coli and many other nasties starting with E. And guess what? Seventy-six per cent of those who bit their nails tested positive, compared to just 26.5% of non-biters. So if you don’t want to spend half your life shitting for Britain, you might want to take your fingers out of your mouth, now.
If you bite your nails, chances are that you’re already causing dental damage.
Who knew that a little innocent nibble could cause such havoc on the old gnashers? In real hardcore cases, nail biting has resulted in tooth fractures, tooth loss, and crazy, displaced jaws.
You're more likely to grind your molars into dust at night.
Nail biting can be a nervous reaction, so the likelihood is that if you’re chewing up your fingers on the reg, you’re also susceptible to grinding your teeth at night. "Those who bite their teeth are often stressed", said Dr Adam Roberts, senior lecturer at UCL’s department of microbial diseases, "so may have other factors that affect their teeth such as grinding."
If you already have weak teeth, continually tearing off bits of nail with your front teeth could lead to dental chipping. And if you can't see from this delightful picture, grinding can also LEAD TO TEETH FALLING OUT.
Does this mean they ate a human?
Facebook: lillythetherapit/Andrew Richard/Buzzfeed / Via Facebook: lillythetherapit
Michelle Cvetkovic/Andrew Richard/Buzzfeed
Megan Cahill/Andrew Richard/Buzzfeed
Anne Muelder/Andrew Richard/Buzzfeed
From white to brown in five days.
Whether you call it soda or pop, people are ~super~ passionate about consuming soft drinks. We showed avid soda drinkers what soda does to teeth after soaking them in soda for five days and people had deep feelings!
BuzzFeed Blue / Via youtube.com
First, our soda drinkers were very proud of their daily habit...
...Like, for REAL!
So, we decided to throw some clean white teeth into a vat of cola and show the soda sluggers the results.
A masters class gets…interesting.
BuzzFeed Video / Via youtube.com
An apple a day won’t keep the dentist away.
If you accidentally chip or crack a tooth, you’re exposing it to tooth decay quicker.
Tooth fractures can quickly lead to decay. Bacteria can use these crevices in the teeth to find their way to your teeth’s more sensitive parts, which are often places where your toothbrush can’t reach.
Drinks high in acidity can make your teeth weak.
The outer shell of your teeth is coated in enamel, which is made of minerals. Enamel is the hardest substance in the human body but, unfortunately, it is most prone to decay. Acidic drinks, such as fruit juices and fizzy drinks, can break down this enamel, making your teeth vulnerable to tooth decay.
Unless you go about your life with Coke in your mouth for an entire day (or five), you're not going to see the dramatic decay pictured above. But one study exposed 20 test teeth to different drinks, including Coca-Cola, Pepsi and Dr. Pepper, their diet versions, and other soft drinks. Results found that tap water and black coffee barely dissolved tooth enamel, while the cola drinks "dissolved enamel 55-65 times more than both water and root beer".
The study also found that there was also no difference in amount of tooth erosion between regular and diet drinks. Even though diet drinks lack sugar, they're equally bad for your teeth.
So put down that fifth can of Coke if you want to protect your gnashers.
BuzzFeed Video / buzzfeed.com
If you grind your teeth in your sleep, they are more likely to decay.
Grinding your teeth at night is a common sign of stress or worry, and nightmares of your teeth falling out could quickly become truth. Clenching your jaw and teeth-grinding creates a large amount of pressure on your teeth. If done frequently, your teeth will be more likely to crack and fracture, increasing the chance of tooth decay, and missing teeth.
In a computer simulation of the human jaw clenching, researchers found that both the upper and lower jaw became IRREVERSIBLY deformed with repeated clenches.
If you're fretting about your fangs, you may want to consider wearing a mouth guard at night while you sleep.
And if bacteria does find a way in, it's not just your teeth that are affected.
Infection in the teeth and gums can lead to an dental abscess, which is where pus collects because of a bacterial infection. This is usually felt with a sore throbbing pain where the abscess is. The common cause of an abscess is a combo of eating sugary foods and bad dental routines.
To get this treated, a dentist must drain the pus and, in some cases, remove the infected tooth. 😧
BRUSH YOUR TEETH, PEOPLE.
Go on — try not to smile along.
This painfully cute combination.
mar_manu / Via instagram.com
This gap 'n' glasses gorgeousness.
elegantrevolt / Via instagram.com
This bespectacled mop top.
uchoa_69 / Via instagram.com
This smile that looks smashing with saturated colors.
newafrican / Via instagram.com
Run your tongue over your teeth and feel that nice, fuzzy bacteria biofilm.
It's easy to forget how INSANELY DIRTY our mouths can get.
Even if you take great care of your teeth, your mouth is constantly full of bacteria that's trying to eat away at your teeth and cause disease. BuzzFeed Life reached out to American Dental Association (ADA) spokesperson Dr. Kimberly Harms, D.D.S., a dentist who practices in Minnesota and Rwanda, to find out more about common mistakes, things dentists wish we knew, and the seriously horrifying consequences of not cleaning your teeth.
Piotr Sikora / Getty Images / Via thinkstockphotos.com
Right now, there's a super sticky biofilm called plaque that's coating the surfaces of your teeth with bacteria.
"That bacterial plaque sticks to the front, back, side, in between, and right under gums," says Harms. Plaque isn't very thick, so your teeth can actually feel relatively clean even when they're coated in it. But it's actually the root of decay and many other dental diseases, so it's good to understand that it builds up all over your teeth every day, which is why brushing is so damn important. “The best way to fight plaque is brushing for two minutes twice a day and flossing properly once a day,” Harms says.
Universal / Via maudit.tumblr.com
If your mouth is super dry, that bacteria grows even faster.
"Many people don't know how important saliva is for cleaning our teeth and fighting cavities," Harms says. Saliva obviously helps physically wash away food residue, but it also has antibacterial properties, neutralizes acids that eat away at enamel, and helps repair and restore teeth. So if you suffer from dry mouth (often caused by certain medications), that can be bad news for your teeth.
"You need added protection or attention to teeth cleaning if you have dry mouth," says Harms. There are a variety of saliva-increasing rinses and toothpastes on the market, but drinking lots of water helps, too.
Nickelodeon / Via youtube.com
Plaque also grows on your teeth at night, which is why it's pretty gross to forget to brush and floss in the morning.
Even though you don't eat in your sleep and your teeth probably feel super clean in the morning if you brushed them before bed, plaque is still coating your teeth during all hours of the night. Hence morning breath.
"Brushing in the morning is just as important as at night, especially if you're a mouth-breather, which dries out saliva," Harms says. It doesn't matter if it's before or after breakfast, just as long as you remove the bacteria that grew overnight.
Brb, going to brush my teeth.
BuzzFeed Blue / Via youtube.com
“Wear it all the time, except when you’re eating.” But I’m always eating.
Once upon a time, your loving parents coughed up a lot of cash to get you this fancy hardware.
Then, after many years, the blessed day came when your train tracks were derailed.
You probably celebrated with a lot of gum chewing and licking your teeth.
You looked damn good.
All hail the Duchess (or Duke) of Dentistry.
As a farewell present from your orthodontist, you got this SOB.
The stereotype is a lie.
“What do you mean I have to wait ANOTHER three months to get my braces off?!”
When you suffered for what felt like an eternity while the orthodontist tried to take a dental impression:
When they put spacers in and it felt like your teeth were giving birth:
When you first got your braces and it felt like your entire mouth was protruding by a foot:
Warner Bros. / Via Twitter: @edenolivia_
When nobody told you the unexpected side effect that you'd be drooling like a hungry dog for the first week after having your braces put in:
Comedy Central / Via Twitter: @UmerHayatLOL
“NARS lipstick or groceries…?”
BuzzFeed Yellow / Via youtu.be
Pinterest = why I have trust issues.
BuzzFeedYellow / Via youtube.com
Kiss your lipstick naiveté goodbye.
You can smell the pink goop like it was yesterday.
The dreaded PINK GOOP.
The hardest decision you'll ever make:
But always being too chicken to try neon yellow.
How often do you brush your teeth?
The government has been caught advertising the closure of the child's dental scheme, despite the fact that parliament has rejected the measure.
Department of Health
Last month the government attempted to pass its Omnibus Bill cuts to the Child Dental Benefits Schedule (CDBS), which would remove Medicare funded dental care for kids from January 1, 2017.
But after opposition from the Greens, Labor and the Nick Xenophon Team in the Senate, the CDBS was removed from the Omnibus legislation to allow the rest of the $6.4 billion savings to pass.
This is the second time the government has tried to shut down the program. From the May budget, initial fact sheets began advertising that it would close on July 1, 2016. But a double dissolution election was called, so legislation wasn't introduced.
Despite parliament not approving the closure, the Health Department's website currently states the scheme will end in January, and fact sheets are being distributed to dentists to say that the program will no longer exist in three months.
The website reads:
On 31 August 2016, the Government introduced legislation to close the Child Dental Benefits Schedule (CDBS) from 1 January 2017 and establish the Child and Adult Public Dental Scheme.
Eligible children will need to receive dental treatment before 1 January 2017 if they wish to access benefits under CDBS before its intended closure.
The department's website also states that the government has sent out letters to families, telling them the scheme is closing.
In a fiery exchange in Senate estimates on Wednesday, Health Department officials said advertising the scheme's closure wasn't "false" because it's "the intent to legislate to have [the closure] in place by January 1, 2017".
If it doesn't happen in the next three months, the date will be revised for a third time, they said.
"It's not a lie," the department's Mark Cormack said.
"It's qualified. It expresses the government's intention that it's subject to legislation."
But Greens leader Richard di Natale believes "ordinary punters" wouldn't be able to interpret the nuance of government jargon.
"If you read 'this means the cost of dental services provided on or after January 1, 2017 will not be met by the government and will need to be met by the patient'... you are actively dissuading people from accessing a scheme that is currently open."
Di Natale has accused the government of actively deterring people from accessing the funding, in a bid to save money before the program can be closed.
The Australian National Audit Office examined the progress of the demand-driven program and found the take-up had been low, around 33%, or 1 million children.
Only $304 million was claimed out of a total budget of more than $600 million.
The ANAO noted that this was due to the government not advertising its availability, so families were unaware they could claim the funding.
Di Natale says it's highly unusual for the government to actively market for legislation it hopes will pass in the future.
"It's the intent of the government to have a plebiscite on marriage equality, but you're not posting information to people about the nature of the plebiscite," he said.
"You can't give any guarantee that it will be closed from January 1, in fact the parliament's just rejected it, and you continue to provide advice on the website to people who want to access it that they can't," he said.
"Sometimes these are people who need to engage in a course of treatment that might require two, three, four months. If you're going to see your dentist in a month's time and they say 'well, we can't, because at the department website says this program will no longer exist from January 1, we're not going to begin treatment at this point in time'."
"Why are you providing this information to people when it's false?"
Nobody actually brushes in the shower, right?
Being nasty pays. ;)
BuzzFeedVideo / Via youtube.com
Or maybe you just know a lot about teeth!
Let’s all agree that temporary crowns are the worst.
Hearing the dentist drill down your actual tooth.
Realizing your tooth is now a nub.
mhemming / Via instagram.com
Heavily breathing through your nose during your tooth impression so you don't swallow any of that goop.
thedailyrobot / Via instagram.com
Realizing your temporary crown is pretty much just a clay tooth.
erickfails / Via instagram.com
Don’t bristle at these questions.
Prepare to be uncomfortable.
Sadly, your dentist will probably still ask how often you floss.
We hope you love the products we recommend! Just so you know, BuzzFeed may collect a small share of sales from the links on this page.
An all-natural mineral powder that may be dirty, but leaves your teeth pearly.
Promising review: "I absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE this product. In just two brushings, it removed the brown/black stains I had from using liquid iron supplements that even my hygienist couldn't get off my teeth. It removed all of the tea stains on my teeth in less than a week. It looks like I had a very thorough dental cleaning and professional teeth whitening done. In fact, I've had several people ask me where I got my teeth whitened and how much it cost, just because it is that noticeable of a difference. My teeth feel super clean and smooth. Even first thing in the morning, I don't have that gross, fuzzy teeth feeling." —Dazie
A paste specialized for sensitivity that gently whitens and strengthens delicate teeth.
Promising review: "I have crazy sensitive teeth so this is really the only thing I can use. I heavily recommend this product for anyone with particularly sensitive teeth. Sensodyne also has another line of toothpaste that has slightly different caps (they're flush to the tube rather than tapered) that I find so awful I fear it may dissuade others with sensitive teeth away from the company, but they're completely different and this one really is a wonderful product." —Alys Anemone
BuzzFeedVideo / Via youtube.com
The horror. THE HORROR.
This is Jay. Looks like a cute, normal 21-year-old British guy, right?
UNTIL HE OPENS HIS DAMN MOUTH.
You see, JAY HAS NEVER BRUSHED HIS DAMN TEETH IN HIS WHOLE DAMN LIFE.
Or, you know — obviously — visited a dentist.
Jay says he was never encouraged to brush his teeth as a kid, so he developed bad habits early on. Plus, he loves sugar and "fizzy drinks," aka sodas.
Jay, who is a sanitation worker, says his teeth are holding him back from pursuing his dream career in sports or physiotherapy.
"I feel embarrassed to tell somebody how to look after themselves when I haven't taken care of my teeth," he said on the show.
People See How Gross Their Teeth Really Are
BuzzFeedVideo / Via youtube.com
PLEASE. JUST. STOP.
Alright, so, brushing your teeth and showering...both basic everyday things, right?
Well, while most of us do those two activities separately, there's a small group of people who do them at the SAME DAMN TIME.
If you think I'm overreacting and that "everyone is doing it," you are TOTALLY WRONG. This poll we conducted definitely proves that if you brush your teeth in the shower, YOU ARE LITERALLY A PART OF THE MINORITY THAT THINKS THAT'S OKAY.
BuzzFeed / Via buzzfeed.com
And if you're one of those people, please consider this post a big 'ol @.
hello_joel / Via Twitter: @hello_joel
Not only is it dangerous...
gl0gl0_ / Via Twitter: @gl0gl0_
Turns out that the Top End feels exactly like being on Isla Nublar.
For starters, you can fly around both on an actual chopper.
I mean, you wouldn’t exactly be thinking “I wonder what else might be on that island…” when you’re on a FREAKING HELICOPTER!
Just like Isla Nublar, the Top End can also look pretty stunning when you first get there.
But we all know looks can be deceiving...
When you start exploring, you find some amazing scenery.
Why would you suspect anything out of the ordinary so far?
There’s some pretty lush vegetation around.
Perfect for all the herbivores that may or may not be lurking around the place.
You can even go swimming in some of the prehistoric-looking waterfalls.
In the movies the tourists always survive the water, right?
If boats are your thing, you can take this spooky looking one out to explore the local waters.
Because a Kronosaurus would never catch you in that…
Or this one, which actually warns you about dinosaurs.
IT LITERALLY SAYS T-REX!
You can even take a kayak out and just keep your fingers crossed you don’t bump noses with a Ichthyosaurus.
You’re not out-swimming anything, mate.
You might need to go full on Jurassic survival mode.
Just stay away from the water during the night, yeah?
If you choose to explore by foot, you'll probably need to cross a few bridges that look like this.
Why is there ALWAYS a flimsy looking bridge?!
You’ll probably come across these giant things that have literally been built by insects!
No Velociraptor would ever see you hiding behind one of them.
And then comes a time when you find out you’re actually not the only ones kicking about this supposed paradise. And. You. Freak. Out.
That’s it, I’m done! Tell my family I loved them.
No, but seriously. Is that an actual dinosaur?
That’s just creepy AF.
Just like the goat in Jurassic Park, you can even watch these almost-dinosaurs being fed.
In the Top End, you get to stay in places like this.
Don’t worry... there’s a toilet inside so there’s no risk of being eaten while taking a dump in an outside one.
There’s plenty of other life kicking about the place, too. Like these mini-dinos who help light the way home...
And these guys who aren’t actually Pterodactyls, I swear.
Also this little dude who will happily guard your bedroom door.
Travel was provided by Tourism Australia. BuzzFeed writers do not guarantee coverage.
Delhi waalon, get ready to get your drums out if there is a locust infestation.
Currently, 22.2 million people are under trial in India, which is more than Netherlands' population.
Only men can be charged with adultery, not women.
Section 497 of the Indian Penal Code is based on the "presumption" that women are the property of men.
Original hand-written copies of the Constitution are kept in helium-filled cases in the chamber of the Indian parliament.
People in and around Delhi can be summoned to beat drums to drive away locusts.
Under the East Punjab Agricultural Pests, Diseases, and Noxious Weeds Act, 1949, the populace should come together to beat drums and battle locust infestation. Team spirit!
Drug addicts can be exempt from prosecution if they are seeking treatment, but occasional users shall be tried.
Does section 64A of the Narcotic Drugs and Psychotropic Substances Act, 1985 think that occasional users are any different from addicts?
Watching porn is legal, distributing it is not.
ASAP, report any money that you stumbled upon if it is more than ₹10 or else you shall be arrested.
The Indian Treasure Trove Act, 1878 assumes you'd become an Ambani if you bag ₹ 11.
In Maharashtra, people are considered old enough to marry at 18 years but are not considered old enough to drink till they turn 25 years.
Oh, we can vote on turning 18 too.
No hotel can deny someone water or access to the washroom.
The Indian Serais Act, 1887 envisages the spirit of "atithi devo bhavo".
There can be no more than ten couples on the dance floor at once.
The drafter of this provision in the Prevention of Seditious Meetings Act, 1911 clearly loathes Bollywood dancing.
Nadiawala Grandsons Entertainment
Supreme Court has been designed to represent the two scales of justice.
Is it? Sometime back, it looked like a penis.
Since they realized that they cannot arrest a dead person, they made a law stating that any failed attempt to commit suicide is illegal.
Section 309 of the Indian Penal Code clearly was not drafted taking into consideration one's mental health.
Flying kites is illegal (without permission), as is flying balloons.
Under the Indian Aircraft Act, 1934, only qualified licensed pilots are allowed to handle flying objects, whose definition apparently includes kites and balloons.
UTV Motion Pictures
In Delhi, home delivery of alcoholic beverages is not allowed as they believe that the driver may become intoxicated while delivering alcohol.
But you can still order a beer and wine from supermarkets, 'cause light alcohol.
Nasir Hussain Films
Sparkly, white teeth is allegedly a qualification to become a motor vehicle inspector in Andhra Pradesh.
Indian Motor Vehicles Act, 1914 for Andhra prescribed that to qualify as an inspector, one needed to possess a clean set of teeth. No one knows the reason behind this.
And, prostitution is legal, but being a pimp isn't.
I guess it's ok to solicit people as long as you go at it alone.
Why does every science fact sound like a line from my nightmare journal?
It is my great displeasure to inform you that snails have teeth.
Chuyn / Getty Images
Yes, the animal that looks like a shell sneezed boogers all over itself has actual teeth! Like a shark or a human. TEETH.
Svetlana Kibiakova / Getty Images
And their teeth are hard!!! Some of the hardest organic material on Earth, according to some very patient scientists.
Their teeth are arranged in rows along a "radula," which is sort of like a tongue.
Sorry that the world we live in is a never-ending tunnel of horrors.
Getty / Anest
I vant to suck your blood.
A few months ago, Selorm found herself on a date with a real-life vampire, who recommended she get fangs.
So she did! "My mom always said: 'Don't make big changes for a man.' And here I am."
Watch Selorm get her very own vampire fangs!
BuzzFeedVideo / Via youtube.com
Anthony and Selorm went to the master fangsmith himself, the one-and-only Father Sebastiaan, who makes fangs for the vampire community.
He explained that going to a proper fangsmith is almost the first rite of passage for any would-be vampire.
But first, Selorm had to take a very important oath.
She promised not to eat or sleep with her fangs, to have amazing sex with them on (yep), and to wait until she had been given permission to see herself with the fangs.
You know what time it was?
That's right, baby! BTW, Father Sebastiaan kept his fang mold creation a top secret.
So, let's fast forward to the part where Sebastiaan shaped the mold using Selorm's incisor teeth.
Then they waited about 10 minutes for the mold to dry.
And voilà! Selorm had her very own, custom-made vampire teeth.
(She hadn't seen them yet at this point.)
But that wasn't it. Selorm was given a vampire name, that she picked using a book kept on hand by Father Sebastiaan. Dope!
Ixiona it was!
And she was also given a gift of an ankh.
Officially making her a member of the Sabretooth Clan.
Then there was just one thing left: the big reveal.
Oh, and Selorm's co-workers loved them!
I mean, they looked "fangtastic."
“Tooth Fairy, you need to get your life together.”
“I do not think that you just gave me a reasonable amount of money because $1 is not going to cut it. It is my first molar, come on! Maybe $5 will do. Thank you. Please respond.”
dr_topia / Via instagram.com
"Please leave me more than $1 because Maw Maw said you're cheap."
malie555 / Via instagram.com
"Ever since we moved here I've lost three teeth so far and you didn't come yet so you need to find where we live and bring me three dollars and get your life together."
“I want an iPhone in replacement of money. I’m not saying I don’t like the money. It’s that I really want an iPhone.”
kelliannemartin / Via instagram.com
“Listen, Tooth Fairy, this is as nice as it gets. Come and get my tooth otherwise I will sue you and hire someone that is fit for a tooth fairy and my teeth.”
thefreerangefamily / Via instagram.com
“I lost a tooth yesterday. I have the hole in my mouth to prove it. I threw away the tooth when I was eating my pizza. Can I still get tooth money? I know your contract has fine print, can we please make a deal?”
sproutpediatricdentistry / Via instagram.com
“Thank you for coming even though I didn’t give you my tooth…What do you love? Can you come to my house in the day time? What is your name?”
kimchi_kimono / Via instagram.com
“I would really like to know your name and age...Maybe we could chat each time I lose a tooth. Please write back.”
xsheenadx / Via instagram.com
"I want a Barbie motor home. I love you."
sharonfeingoldvo / Via instagram.com
“My tooth went down the drain. It was an accident. Will you take this eyelash instead?”
sproutpediatricdentistry / Via instagram.com
“I think you made a mistake. Last time I lost a tooth you gave me $20 and this time only $5. Please can I have $15?"
lornamayb / Via instagram.com
“Can I please keep my tooth thanks but I am broke so can I have the money?"
jengriffinphoto / Via instagram.com
“You might think this is some kind of joke, but it’s not. My dear sisters lost my tooth, and if you don’t believe me look in my mouth (but don’t wake me up). I would be really happy if you were to give me money for my invisible tooth.”
dsfard / Via instagram.com
"Please write me a note saying you came but in your fairy language. Thank you."
SarahTyson1 / Via instagram.com
"To Mr/Ms/Mrs Tooth Fairy...Thank you a lot for giving me $ I appreciate your benevolent service and I hope your services will not be abolished. P.S. Give me $50 or $100 please. P.P.S. No less than dat."
mrsnerimiranda / Via instagram.com
"This is my last baby tooth, so can I have a little extra money please? P.S. You won't have to visit me anymore."
kaelinpediatricdentistry / Via instagram.com
"I know you’re not real but here’s my tooth. If it’s dad you owe me $5 for the tooth and $5 for licking the chili, so you own me $10!”
fambargains / Via instagram.com
Come on, guys.
If only you could bookmark this list in your subconscious.
Anyone got some wax?
Is it Colgate?
The ear is the hardest one.
After growing up poor in West Virginia, I thought I had made it out and built a better life for myself. But my teeth are only getting worse.
SmileDirectClub is trying to silence its critics with legal threats after the American Association of Orthodontists lodged complaints against the Nashville startup in 36 states.
Imagine swimming along and this guy just chompin' on you.
The bigger the gap, the better the snap.
Streamin', screamin', and Halloweenin'.
"My dentist just put some lip balm on me without asking?! I thought this was a dentist not a liptist."
T E E F I E S .
For the person who won't trust anything with less than 1,000 reviews, especially when it comes to their skin and hair.
Really, thank you.